Do You Know You Are Loved?It has been my good fortune to know Dr. Everett Blanton and to be counted among his friends. Come to think of it, that doesn't make me all that special. His circle of friends is pretty large. And I don't know anyone in his still-larger circle of acquaintances that didn't like him and respect him. This is how his booming voice greeted those of us fortunate enough to be his friends: "Has anyone told you today that he loves you?"

It has been my good fortune to know Dr. Everett Blanton and to be counted among his friends. Come to think of it, that doesn't make me all that special. His circle of friends is pretty large. And I don't know anyone in his still-larger circle of acquaintances that didn't like him and respect him.
This is how his booming voice greeted those of us fortunate enough to be his friends: "Has anyone told you today that he loves you?"
The first time he posed the question to you, you may have tried to answer it. You would try to remember if your wife or children said "I love you" before they left for school or when you left for work. Or perhaps you would simply be stunned by such a question - and stand a bit wide-eyed and not know how to respond.
His handsome face would break into a broad grin, and he would say something on this order: "Well, I do! And I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you. You are special to me, and I am grateful to have you in my life."
Now that might sound mushy - if not downright suspicious - if Everett's hair had not been completely white and his face marked with the signs of age. Coming from him, both males and females heard the genuine affirmation of a godly man who wanted to tell the people in his life how he valued them.
When a move to another state put distance between us, we would occasionally speak by phone. It was always important for me to begin the conversation. As soon as he picked up, I would say, "Everett, has anybody told you today how loved you are?" He would laugh, call my name, and tell me how special I was to him. There was no way to get ahead of him!
Everett Blanton passed away. Loved and supported by children and grandchildren, he had battled cancer courageously - and tried to keep his family from worrying too much about it. The battle had become hard.
His closest ally, best friend, and devoted wife through all his life adventures, Peggy, mourns his loss - but smiles at the treasure trove of sweet memories they made together. She tells me how fortunate she was to have had all those years with him. He would tell you he was the lucky one.
You don't have to know Everett to learn from him. Learn to affirm the people who are important in your life. Tell them you love them. Then tell them again and once more for good measure. Be remembered for it when it comes your time to go home. As Joe Bain said, Everett was "a man with the kindest heart I've ever known." Wouldn't that be a wonderful way for people to remember you?
Rubel Shelly

Two Kinds of Legacy

When you die, your possessions will be distributed according to a will in which you allocated property to specific people. Objects left in a will are called a legacy.
But "legacy" also has a much deeper meaning.
In Jewish tradition, people write "ethical wills" in which they pass on to the next generation, especially their children, the gift of wisdom and good wishes. This legacy is far more profound and permanent than bequests of property.
An ethical will is often a personal letter to the most important people in our lives. It conveys our values, convictions and hopes. An ethical will is also an autobiography - not of events and dates, but of the insights and intuitions that define who we are and tell the world what we stand for and what we think is important.
These documents provide a priceless and prized source of loving advice and can become treasured family heirlooms. Because they are about ethics, they also can become a moral compass that helps loved ones navigate their way to worthy and happy lives.
Yet no matter how highly cherished these letters can be for those who receive them, the process of writing them can change your perspective and cause you to readjust your own priorities.
What would you put in your ethical will? When you can, begin writing down everything you might want to pass on to the people you love. But know this: Once you start, it will be hard to stop as you'll experience a surge of thoughts that will engulf you with all the subconscious beliefs that make you who you are and what you will be.
According to Socrates, the touchstone of wisdom is to first know thyself. Try it, and you'll see why.
Michael Josephson
Speaker and Radio Commentator